is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
