He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
