hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
