His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
