i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
