So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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