all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
