This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
