remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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