dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
