how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize