he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
