We won't sleep together?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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