So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
