why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
