Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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