why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
