I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
