Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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