Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
