You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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