im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize