Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
