Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
