I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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