If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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