theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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