My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Who wears a wallet chain?!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize