I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize