He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
