alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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