what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize