There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
