its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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