I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
