Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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