We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
