Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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