I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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