I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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