you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
