'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
