May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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