I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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