this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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