He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
