I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
they're like a gay fantastic four
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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