That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
