i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Randomize