You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
