cat food counts as protein by the way
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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