i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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