as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
