no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
