Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
