he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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