it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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