Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
