Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
