I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
