I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
